Learning to Let Go

Author: Coco Janzen

This past year has been full of change for our family. For the first time, our four boys are receiving their education outside of our home. This was not an easy decision—it came after much prayer, fasting, and soul-searching. I absolutely loved homeschooling… until I didn’t.

Over time, it became clear that keeping the boys at home was less about obedience and more about control. I was holding on tightly, driven by fear rather than faith. Yet, I look back on our homeschooling years with deep gratitude. God produced incredible fruit during that season, and I’m thankful for the foundation we were able to lay in the hearts and minds of our children.
But last year, the joy was gone. I knew a change was needed. Making hard choices for myself is one thing—but making them for my children brought a new level of fear and doubt. Was I letting God down? Letting the boys down? Choosing comfort over obedience? Many tears were shed, and several godly friends spoke wisdom into my life.

When the ESA vouchers became available, a new door opened—an option beyond homeschooling or public school. After visiting several wonderful Christian schools in Cedar Rapids, we landed at Calvary Christian Academy, and we couldn’t be more grateful.

What I didn’t anticipate, however, was the small identity crisis that followed. For seven years, “homeschool mom” was a title I carried with pride. So when that title changed, I found myself asking: Who am I now? What will I do with my time? Will people think less of me? Do I think less of me? Does God?

In the midst of this wrestling, God led me to Galatians 3:28:

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

My identity isn’t in my occupation, my children, or any title I carry. I am, first and foremost, a child of God—created to glorify Him in all that I do.

This season has also humbled me to see my own biases and judgments. As parents, it’s easy to believe our personal choices are somehow more “godly” than others’. I’m embarrassed to admit that how I educated, dressed, or fed my children sometimes became a measuring stick for others.

Now, as I step into this new season, I find myself on the other side—wondering if my homeschool friends will judge me, or if I’ve somehow “sold out.” Once again, God’s Word brought clarity:

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” —Ephesians 2:10

Each of us has a unique calling prepared by God Himself. When we seek His will for our lives, He leads us into the good works He has specifically designed for us. To assume everyone’s path should look like ours is to limit the creativity and sovereignty of God.

I’m learning to celebrate the differences in how we each walk with Him. Though our lives may look very different, obedience is the common thread. I’m committed to cheering on my sisters in Christ as they faithfully follow where God leads.

The beauty of God’s design is that He knows us intimately and cares enough to craft a unique path for each one of us. May we link arms and encourage one another as we each take our next steps with Jesus.