From Brokenness to Grace: My Journey to Christ and Family
Author: David True
Growing up, my life was filled with severe abuse, fear, and manipulation. I endured constant physical and verbal oppression at home, to the point that I had to shut off my emotions just to survive and protect myself. I felt entirely unwanted and completely hopeless.
As soon as I was old enough to work, I poured all my energy into a new goal: earning enough money to escape the pain. I believed that independence and financial security would finally bring me the happiness I never had. I worked constantly, saved everything I could, and eventually achieved what seemed like the ultimate dream—I paid off my house in full and could buy whatever I wanted.
But inside, the house and the possessions felt completely empty. I stayed away from drugs and alcohol, and I tried to live a good life, but this deep emotional void remained. Year after year, the same painful cycle repeated itself. The dream of having a loving family felt completely out of reach, and the emptiness slowly turned into despair. Eventually, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to live and began thinking about ending my life.
In the middle of that emotional struggle, I started looking for a church and wanting to read the Bible. To this day, I still don’t fully understand why. The best way I can describe it is that it felt like a pull from God, almost like something deep inside of me was telling me this was the only direction that could actually save me. The church I reached out to was Stonebridge. I sent an email and eventually connected with Steve Duffy for breakfast. This was entirely outside my comfort zone but that day he told me about Jesus–I still have the napkin he used to draw out a diagram of the gospel.
That next Sunday, I met Steve at church and sat with him and his family. The songs overwhelmed me with emotion and it felt like God was speaking directly through me during the sermon. I had noticed in the bulletin a class called “What Does God Want Me to Do?” I asked Steve if I could go and he took me to the classroom. I felt completely out of place sitting there but then Andrew LeVake came and sat by me. He did the next week as well. It seemed he really wanted to get to know me. After that first Sunday, I realized I had nothing left to lose, and I wanted to give everything to God. That is when I became a believer.
During this season, I started meeting with Steve every Sunday at 3:00 PM to talk about God and life. It amazed me that he would sacrifice his time for me. He worked hard all morning and had youth ministry later that night, yet he gave me hours of his day. I was incredibly grateful.
I also continued to attend services and classes and sat with either the LeVakes or the Duffys. I was grateful to have them welcome me. I also started to attend the Young Adult group on Thursdays and Andrew and Rebecca invited me to their Life Group. I was really nervous to join their Life Group, but it proved to be an important part of my journey.
By this time, I had opened up to Steve and Keith about my difficult past. They both encouraged me to share my story with the LeVakes. I was terrified. It was one thing to tell Steve and Keith, but opening up to Andrew and Rebecca felt so much harder because it led me to be vulnerable with the very concepts of ‘mother’ and ‘father’ that caused me so much pain. I pushed through that fear and shared my past with them and their response was pure grace. They told me how brave I was to survive what I went through and to turn to Christ instead of sin and they prayed over me that night.
As the weeks passed, the LeVake’s started feeling like family. They invited me to their house for pizza and a basketball game, for Rebecca’s birthday party, for Passover, and for Easter. I also attended recitals and other events the kids had going on. They even gave me a picture book Bible to help me grasp the big picture of the Bible’s story when I shared with them that I was struggling to understand what was going on as we discussed the Bible. I enjoyed being with them, but it sometimes brought out a sadness like, “Is this what a family is actually supposed to be like?” It made me think of all the things I had missed out on and I struggled to learn how to engage like a family.
I realized that I have a hard time having fun as it felt like I was doing something wrong. On Easter we did an egg hunt and I started out nervous, but before I knew it, I was running all over- I felt a wave of shame for letting my guard down. I let my guard down again one night at Life Group and I ended up outside with the kids hitting tennis balls against the house because I was getting bored with all the adult conversations. Afterward, I confessed to Rebecca, "Don't you think it's weird that I have more fun with the kids than the adults?” She said “no” and reminded me that it was okay to have fun. It’s a work in progress, but I’m learning how to relax and enjoy myself while also learning how to give and receive affection.
On Rebecca’s birthday, I wanted to buy her flowers but growing up, my mom always told me that flowers were a waste of money and would rather have had the cash. I stood in the grocery store’s flower cooler for two hours, battling fear and debating what to do. Finally, asking God for a sign, I grabbed a bouquet that caught my eye. When I gave them to Rebecca, she was so happy. She immediately placed them right in the center of the table. This was significant to me because I expected her to reject the gift but when she loved it the fear went away.
When the opportunity came to be baptized, I was terrified at the thought of standing in front of everyone, but something pulled me forward, and I decided to do it. The initial fear faded the moment I started speaking. Afterward, everyone flooded me with hugs. Physical contact is still very hard for me, but it felt incredibly nice.
After the service, I went to the LeVake’s house for a celebration lunch. They had told me I could request whatever food I wanted. It was incredibly hard for me to ask. In my past, there was always a catch whenever I was given something, so I was constantly cautious. But they made exactly what I asked for. Eating that meal, knowing they cooked it simply because they loved me and wanted to celebrate what God had done in my life, made me deeply emotional. After lunch they even brought out presents. They told me it was nothing crazy, but receiving gifts that I didn't have to earn or work for was a new thing for me, and a perfect example of God’s grace.
I am so thankful that God met me in my brokenness and saved me. His Word promises in Psalm 34:18 (ESV) that “the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Jesus transformed the emptiness I carried for so many years into peace and purpose. He forgave me for the years I spent chasing money and prioritizing material wealth as my source of happiness, and gave me the love, safety, and family I had been searching for my entire life. Jesus also showed me that my true worth isn't found in what I own, what I achieve, or the suffering of my past. Although I still have struggles, I no longer live with the hopelessness that once consumed me. Now I know I am loved, wanted, and never alone.